as i get closer to the end of this crazy years journey, i am forced to look back at the way I have dealt with the stress and the ups & downs emotionally...
for the most part, I think i did ok??!
I did not commit murder...that' s a good thing.
I did not run out on my family...positive!
I did not beat my kids...they are very pleased about that!!
I did not lose my faith...in fact it is stronger than ever.
So...the list of "i did not's" can be fairly large and I can take comfort in those...BUT what DID I do!???
Not doing things is not always the only goal. I do not want to spend my life being pleased that I did not blow up buildings, when in fact I did not build anything significant!!!
I can see it now...RIP - Kevin did nothing to anyone and lived a harmless life!~
I know that along the way, i will have hurt someone, been unkind and will have offended someone, if not many! None of those things are good or intentional...BUT if we are to endure life and come out the other side better for the experience...we then need to do something!!! If hardships are to make us better, we cannot settle for mediocrity anymore. The status quo will not cut it...just not being really bad, will not satisfy anymore!!!
SO - if this last year has been a tough journey, and if this TOUGH journey is coming to a conclusion, than where will it lead me??
Will it lead me to not be as judgmental?
Will it lead me to be more compassionate to those in need?
Will it force me to think of others first?
Will my life become less important, and other's more important?
Will i give more away to those in need than ever before?
Will I be a better ambassador for the Gospel?
Will it lead me to be a better father?
Will it lead me to be a better husband?
Will i handle my finances better?
Will I be known for being a man of my word?
Will I...this list goes on!!
I do not want to stand in this valley and see the mountain...and then forget!! I NEED to learn from this, I need to take this and have God infuse it into my spirit. God can take these journey's and make them points of reference in our life...I want that!! I do not wan to be the same...I want to be better...or none of this was worth it.
I need to be closer to God!
I need to be a better friend!
I need to be slow to speak, and careful when I do...i need to be a man of my word!! I am not doing well on that front! This is a good time to change...
Perspective...I want this time to give me a fresh perspective...One where others are put first and God is in the centre of it all!! If after all that has gone on this year...those couple things are fruit...THAN I AM HAPPY!!!
To God be the glory!
Kevin
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