Wednesday, April 1, 2015

How do you respond to disappointment?

Well, I know it has been a long time...I must keep this blog up. Sorry for my distance. I seem to turn to this when things in my life start to unravel. I cling to this form of therapy when i feel discouraged or have some trial that hits my family or my career. This is one of those times again... I have loved the whole Kevin Pauls & Friends at Christmas time in Kitchener...this is starting to become a "thing", something people are looking forward to and I am hoping to actually not lose money this year!! LOL...But, I have always dreamed of Christmas & Easter...I wanted to make an impact in my community surrounding the 2 biggest days on the calendar...and the 2 biggest events in the history of the world (not trying to be dramatic, but they are!) I wanted a musical celebrating the resurrection of Jesus Christ with the symphony and in a theatre not a church...i want the community to be able to take ownership of this event and have this be a beacon of light - also more and more churches are doing less at Easter, so i really believed it would fill a void. People I told the idea to seemed to love the concept and seemed to want to be a part of it. Well...the community spoke loudly by NOT buying tickets in droves...So we were left with no option but to cut out losses and cancel the show. Now this blog is not to call out for sympathy, nor is it a time for me to complain and whine about things not going my way. Just the exact opposite. I do not want to focus on the disappointment, but rather the response to this disappointment. I cannot change what has happened. I can learn from it. I can take away good ideas and choose to not make the same mistakes...and I can figure that out. let me tell you as story...a memory...a time when I felt like this was being taught to me... I would often walk home by myself from school as a young boy. I can still see the image clearly - walking along the sidewalk praying and thinking. I read the story of David a lot as a boy and thought of the life he lead. I remember being so intrigued by one thing God said about David. God called David a man after HIS own heart. I would think about the life David lead...the mistakes he made and would try to make sense of that. I would then look around my family, my friends, my church and those in leadership around me and i can remember thinking, how many of these men and women are described as David was by God - and how many have made some of the same mistakes... As I walked home as a boy, I believe God was revealing this statement of truth to me. I thought this, "God doesn't care as much about what we do on a daily basis - He already knows we will mess up - But HE is far more interested in our response to it" I remember most of the adults in my life wanted to clarify the message I felt that I was getting from God - they wanted to make sure that i knew God did not like sin and that He does care deeply about our sin and it grieves His heart etc...They seemed to always want to make sure that HIS GRACE did not become too "top of mind", but that the "do's & don't's" took centre stage!!! Now, if you ask them today - they will all say that is not what they meant...I do believe that as well. Their intention was not to focus on do's and don'ts...but the result of their focus was just that. I hope i am being clear...I do want to live a life that is without sin. I do want my motives and my actions to be blameless before God. I DO!! But, the reality of my life is that I am in need of His grace more and more! Just when i feel as though I conquer one sin...i find another!! If I spend my days in remorse and regret, i will never recover... If I spend my days looking at my past failures as a man, a musician, a father, and a Christ-follower...i will live and wallow in self-pity and discouragement. TODAY...i choose to take that 6 year old boys revelation from God to heart. I choose today, to look at how I can respond to disappointment and hurt, and find a way to not let it happen again...and also turn that emotion into grace filled optimism. I do not want the blows that life brings to take away my joy, and to distract me from the goals I believe God has birthed in me. So how do I repsond to disappointment?...What disappointment? Have a great day... Kevin