Friday, October 31, 2008

Back Home from Alberta

I am so glad to be home...I love my family!!

I had a great time in Alberta, in spite of the phone in the toilet incident!! I got to sing in Red Deer, Airdrie, Lethbridge and Calgary...participated in GMA Events, gave out 3 awards with Cathy Cuts of World Vision, worked with a band called Random Taks Collective and did an interview for Global TV in Lethbridge! All in all a very good 10 days.

I am preparing for another busy couple I sing at an event @ Canada Christian College, tomorrow I am singing at a race for Haiti, and then at night I sing for Heaven's Rehearsal...Sunday AM I am at Global International Ministries!

I am so grateful for the opportunity to sing...I am blessed beyond measure...

No, all the circumstances have not changed in my life...just my outlook! God is good and my family is healthy and I love my wife and can it be bad!!???

I hope to give you a full report of Heaven's Rehearsal. 35,000 people - Rogers Centre...all worshiping!! WOW, this is gonna be fun!


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Worship Night @ GMA Canada

What a great night of Worship! GMA Canada revs up for another great week of events, seminars, concerts and then ending with the Covenant Awards...

Last night, COREY DOAK DEBBIE FORTNUM ARLEN SALTE and MATT BROUWER all participated in the evening. I had the privilege of leading worship with Arlen. He runs the largest ministry conference I think in North America if not the world...Break Forth in Edmonton! He has been in the industry for over 30 years. Great man of God and a wonderful person!

Corey started the night off with his usual James Taylor-esk songs and stories...what a great talent! Debbie then went to the keyboard and she leaves you speechless with her beautiful voice and incredible talent!! Both Corey and Debbie are just amazing people!! If you do not have there music...BUY IT!!!

Matt's band, the TEXAS TRIO, played for me and that was great! Tracks just don't cut it! The band learned the song quick and then at the last minute Matt jumped in and played keys for the tune...lots of fun!

Than Matt finished the evening with his new music! He is a wonderful songwriter. He is having all kinds of success in the US but continues to come back and pour into the Canadian artists!!

All of these artists were not only incredible to listen to and see perform, but they all have an amazing heart and spirit! What a wonderful bunch to hang out with for a day!!

Hope there a lot more days like this!!


Monday, October 20, 2008

what a flight...what a night!!

Ok - I have been flying and traveling a lot! I have been doing this for quite a few years and I know the there an 1.5 - 2 hours prior to the flight if you are flying out of country, or and hour if it is domestic! I get that, and I abide by that all the time...

So it is 4:55 pm on Saturday afternoon...I kiss my family good bye and head to the Kitchener Airport...a direct flight out of KW to Calgary. It takes me 20 - 25 minutes to get to the airport. I fly out at 6:15 pm...lots of time...right?? I need to stop into Staples and buy something real quick, I know where the box is, and it will take me 5 minutes tops...So while I am driving, I fall into autopilot and drive right by the exit for problem the next exit is not far and it will be just a minute at this time, it is still only 5:05 pm...I am not panicing at all...lots of time!!

I turn onto the next exit and make the turn towards the store and as I am turning...I realize I am caught in incredible traffic...I cannot turn around and there is a median in the middle of the road and the traffic is crazy!! Initially...not a problem, the more I drive I realize this is becoming an issue...I I just stop and try to turn a i just keeps getting worse, and I continue to figure out which is the best alternative.

I finally get to the store and it is still only 5:20, now I am only 10 minutes from the problem...inside the store...the shelf is bare...the box I need for my trip is not there...a little panic sets in, I ask the sales guy - he VERY SLOWLY, looks and eventually finds it!!!!

now I am in full blown panic - OK - fly out of the parking lot into another parking lot called the highway...I finally make it to the airport and park and run into the gotta know the airport, it is the size of a large home...I see the plane, no one is getting on, and there is 25 minutes to go...SECURITY HAS LEFT!!! They will not take my luggage, and they will not allow me to get on the flight!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! I went up to the clerk very calmly and I said..."I AM BEGGING YOU, PLEASE HELP ME GET ON THIS FLIGHT!!"

I don't think it meant as much to her as it did to me!! SO, the next option, fly out of Toronto, in 2 I paid the $50 fee, and grabbed my luggage and hit the road!! I got onto the 401 Highway to Toronto...still not overly impressed!!

I am about 15 minutes down the highway when I see a sea of red lights in front of me...NOOOOOO!!! I quickly turn on the radio to 680 NEWS and they tell me there has been a MAJOR accident a few exits up and they have CLOSED THE 401!!!!!!

A quick call to Wendy and she helped me navigate a detour. I got on the phone with WestJet and told them what was happening...I eventually made it to Toronto and with about 5 minutes to spare, got to the terminal and made the flight!!

What a night...i got in about 1 am which is 3 am to me. Then I had to wake up @ 5am to drive 2 hours to Red Deer to I got halfway to Red Deer I realized the package that I so desperately needed...was still in Calgary!!!

I do have to admit though, that the people in Red Deer were fantastic...the day went better than anticipated and it all worked out fine! A little stressed but fine!!

Then the icing on the cake...I arrived back in Calgary at 7:30 am this morning. I was cleaning up in the bathroom, just brushed my teeth and leaned over to get something when my cell phone (BlackBerry - my lifeline to the real world) fell out of my pocket and into the toilet!!!

YES - the toilet!!!!! I grabbed it right away and started to dry it off and it still sits right beside me...totally on, and I see all the messages that are coming into it and I can't get beeps and rings and shows me that there are just wont let me get them!!!


it can only get better...right!! I am looking forward to GMA Canada...I sing tomorrow night at the Worship Event...Matt Brouwer's Band is playing for me...and I am leading worship with Arlen Salte...Should be a great night!!

I will let you know how that goes...

Frustrated but still laughing...

Thursday, October 16, 2008

no more dates...

Ok - here's the deal...

I have given you dates that were given to me...100% of them have fallen through!! The story is yet unwritten and the end is no where in site!!!

i am frustrated, confused, let down and most of all...really ticked off!! Not at anyone or anything in particular. Mostly @ myself...

as i wrote before, I have allowed this "thing", this "rescue" to become so real in my own mind, that i actually already had it happening...

I have planned, thought and spent the money and the opportunity!!!

I find myself once again - staring in the mirror, wondering why i am such an idiot, knowing that my poor judgment has cost other people significant money (that I will move heaven and earth to replace!!!!) and it has cost my family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is simple to walk away and say I was stupid when it only effects YOU. When you take others down, that is really painful, BUT when it starts to effect your daughters, your son and your wife...YOU BECOME A COMPLETE BONEHEAD!!!!

Now I know...God is in control!! It will all work out!!! Just give your anxiety to HIM!!! Just pray and it will all go away!! God wants to bless you!! God want to prosper you!!!! yada yada yada yada yada!!!!

i know that stuff with my head but I have to tell you that my heart is feeling abandoned, my heart is feeling overwhelmed, my heart wants to shake my fist at God and ask why??

Then I look at ME!! I can't blame God for any of this!! God did not make the choices...I did! God did not do any of the "stupid" things...I DID!!

I feel slightly hand I am furious with God...and on the other, I love HIM and will serve HIM and cannot possibly be upset with HIM for any of these circumstances!!

WOW - what a strange place to be!! I will tell you this...

As difficult as this stuff is right now i can commit to the following:
I will say as the 3 Hebrew boys said...IF MY GOD SOLVES THIS, PRAISE HIM!! IF HE DOES NOT...I WILL PRAISE HIM ANYWAY!!

My circumstances will not change the fact that Jesus Christ is the Saviour of the World!! It will not change the fact that He is the creator of all that is!! HE IS LORD, no matter what I go through and no matter what I think!!


have a great day...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


all i want to say today is this...if I cannot be happy when things are going terribly wrong, than I will not have the ability to be happy when things are going well!!

in the midst of all this "stuff" that is going on in the life of my family...if I don't decide to be happy...i will not be able to be "happy" when things turn around.

Things will always turn around and the best way to deal with life is to be happy in and out of bad times...easier said than done!!

BUT - when I am coaching a band or a soloist and we are rehearsing a show...I tell them to do certain things in rehearsal. Often I get this response, I can't do it here, there is no audience...I can turn it on when the audience is there!! IT NEVER HAPPENS!!!! When the nerves kick in and the mind goes blank, you always revert to what you know...what you have practiced. NOW, if you have already got bad habits, than you need to practice 10x's harder to break those habits and to create new ones...

If you have relied upon circumstances to make you happy, it will take a lot of work to re-learn the art of being happy!

I need to re-learn that art. I need to be happy when life sucks and when life is grand!! Because even though I don't feel it...God is always in control, and ultimately...does anything else really matter??

so..."don't worry, be happy!!"


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

OK - here a bit more on this NON SOLUTION!!

first of all, I am so thankful to have so many people, literally around the world that care enough to read this blog. many of you have been buggin me to FINALLY get this story on the blog...well...

i wish i could! I will now be able to tell the entire story as of OCT. 15th!!!

I know this is sounding a lot like a cop-out!! BUT, i need to wait. But here is what I can tell you. About 8 months ago, it appeared that my financial situation was going to change dramatically. Promises were made, and therefore I made promises...WELL - I should have known better, but this has lead to the situation I am now in...Nothing intentionally was done and there was no vengeance or malice in this entire situation...just an 8 month series of events that have continued to play with my mind. It is done, it is not done...tomorrow, the next week...I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE!!!

I have allowed my emotions to get the better of me and for those of you that know me...this is not always a good thing. I have prayed for direction, I have cried many tears, I have allowed anxiety to creep into my life so badly that I have thought I was going to have a heart attack! I have allowed this to effect my day to day routine, I have allowed this to effect my bank account tremendously...i have had this situation become a dark cloud that does not seem to want to go away!!

Sleep has become an issue. This situation is hurting Wendy and the kids...not our relationship but their day-to-day lives have been effected...

"kevin - just let it go and move on!! don't be such an idiot!!!" I know I hear you loud and clear!! I have been trying to tell myself that over and over and over and over!!! The actual details of this string of events is not for me to tell yet...but I can tell you this...IT SUCKS~

But here is something that sucks even more...I have allowed this situation to turn me so internally focused it makes me sick!! I desire to live my life for others. I want to give up the need to discuss me and look at others. I want to lower myself so others can be lifted up...I want to be nothing so Christ can be seen in my life...AND what do I waste my time on...ME!

All my blogs are...wo is me, look at what happened to me, did you hear about what I just did...yada yada yada~!!! I am more sick of that than this dumb situation!!

TODAY - I will start to re-focus my thoughts on others...those that need!!! I do not want to make myself the centre of my world...others need to be that...

Now don't get me wrong, this blog will continue to be open and honest reflections of me and how I live out my faith, but I want my LIFE to start to focus on others rather than poor ol' me!!

until next time...