so, many of you have read my blogs in the past and I try to be as honest as I can and not hide things...today...life feels heavy. Now I don't want anyone to read into this...there are some things that hit you from time to time that take their toll. My wife is great! My kids are great! I have my health...again, don't read into this...
Today, i am feeling unmotivated, struggling with so many things. Perspective might be the biggest concern...sometimes - if we are honest, we take the littlest things and make them big. We turn an ant hill into a huge mountain.
I love what I do, I love my life...I just would love this journey to be a little more - consistent. I had a wonderful discussion with an artist friend of mine yesterday...we both feel this heaviness about what we do...someday, I would love to say GOD TAKE IT AWAY or allow the dreams you have placed in me to be born!!!!!! One or the other God...this waiting and patience crap sucks!! Here are the immediate answers..."God knows what is best!" "Be patient, He will look after you!" NO KIDDING!!!! I am just venting, I do know that He is my source and I do know that He is in control...but the journey often seems too long and too much work.
I feel blessed to have the life I do...I JUST FEEL CRAPPY TODAY!!! Is that OK? I need to be able to have a bad day...say that I feel like this and then move on! SO - TODAY is a heavy and tomorrow may be a mountain top experience!
When you feel like this...like I do today, or when you feel great or somewhere in between...we need to remember...
Emotions are up and down and good and bad...never consistent...GOD is always the same! My emotions cannot dictate my life or my actions. I need to stand firm on the Word of God. That will not change, that will hold me when everything else seems to be letting me down. When my emotions say He has forgotten me, my Bible tells me the opposite.
So in those heavy days remember...GOD IS IN CONTROL, HE STILL SITS ON THE THRONE! He has not left you!!
OK - I feel better! I needed to remind myself of that...
Kevin
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