first of all, I am so thankful to have so many people, literally around the world that care enough to read this blog. many of you have been buggin me to FINALLY get this story on the blog...well...
i wish i could! I will now be able to tell the entire story as of OCT. 15th!!!
I know this is sounding a lot like a cop-out!! BUT, i need to wait. But here is what I can tell you. About 8 months ago, it appeared that my financial situation was going to change dramatically. Promises were made, and therefore I made promises...WELL - I should have known better, but this has lead to the situation I am now in...Nothing intentionally was done and there was no vengeance or malice in this entire situation...just an 8 month series of events that have continued to play with my mind. It is done, it is not done...tomorrow, the next week...I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE!!!
I have allowed my emotions to get the better of me and for those of you that know me...this is not always a good thing. I have prayed for direction, I have cried many tears, I have allowed anxiety to creep into my life so badly that I have thought I was going to have a heart attack! I have allowed this to effect my day to day routine, I have allowed this to effect my bank account tremendously...i have had this situation become a dark cloud that does not seem to want to go away!!
Sleep has become an issue. This situation is hurting Wendy and the kids...not our relationship but their day-to-day lives have been effected...
"kevin - just let it go and move on!! don't be such an idiot!!!" I know I hear you loud and clear!! I have been trying to tell myself that over and over and over and over!!! The actual details of this string of events is not for me to tell yet...but I can tell you this...IT SUCKS~
But here is something that sucks even more...I have allowed this situation to turn me so internally focused it makes me sick!! I desire to live my life for others. I want to give up the need to discuss me and look at others. I want to lower myself so others can be lifted up...I want to be nothing so Christ can be seen in my life...AND what do I waste my time on...ME!
All my blogs are...wo is me, look at what happened to me, did you hear about what I just did...yada yada yada~!!! I am more sick of that than this dumb situation!!
TODAY - I will start to re-focus my thoughts on others...those that need!!! I do not want to make myself the centre of my world...others need to be that...
Now don't get me wrong, this blog will continue to be open and honest reflections of me and how I live out my faith, but I want my LIFE to start to focus on others rather than poor ol' me!!
until next time...
Kevin
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
Thanks for the update. Sadly, I think, often, it is in our brokenness that we reach more people. More people can relate to our struggles than they can our achievements.
Praying for you. Can hardly wait to hear back next week!! Or whenever.
Hay Kevin... I heard a story about a young girl that does not work in the dump any more......just thought it might help you focus.
I appreciate your friendship
John
Kevin He that humbleth himself will be exhaulted.
You know sometimes when situations occur,it's God way of getting our undivided attention as he has another plan for us So keep inspiring and be inspired.
Let you attitude carve your alltitude
Take stock of your God given Potential
Potential is God's gift to you, what you do with is is your gift to God.
Post a Comment