Morning Coffee Musings

The following words are unedited...other than spell-check! (i hope). I purposefully do not edit.  I need my thoughts to be fresh and vulnerable.  This is me...I speak from the heart...

today's musings...

Well, i just poured myself a cup of java and am sitting here at my desk.  I found myself looking through some past "musings" from my blog...especially the ones during the beginning of COVID.  Challenging things...things that I don't think I really did very well.  I don't think I took my own advice at all...at least not lately.  I feel as though this last 6 months have "re-taught" me something. Here is what I am pondering, "If you do not maintain your mental health, your focus, your goals, your priorities etc... you will slowly start to go backwards"

This is a fresh awakening for me.  

I am also glad that the work I have put in over the last 7 years have helped me to recognize the fact that I was going backwards.  I feel as though I have put on the brakes a lot earlier in the process of going backwards - so there is not as much uphill climbing to do...does that make sense?

Looking back to my blogs over the years...especially during the "year from hell" in 2014/2015 - the fall was primarily because of the years of "going backwards" that were un-detected.  One bad year is inevitable.  One bad situation happens no matter how solid you are.  But as I unpacked that year, and the years that proceeded it, i can see the massive whole I created.  So, fast forward to this year.  I am seeing a "moving backward" in my life...THIS TIME, i feel like I am seeing it much faster!  Also the damage is minimal as well...catching it in time is crucial.  Because of what I have gone through in my life, 2015 was not the only time...it was just the worst.  I am able to use my past failures to recognize patterns.  I am sensing that patterns are not where they should be and I want to correct that NOW!!

I don't know if this is resonating with you?  I am fortunate that my past, as painful as it was, has allowed me to have "life markers".  I had created enough of a change in my life that my "radar" is in better working order.  Meaning...the slightest course correction is now sending alarms to my body.  I am also quicker to respond...

All of this is code for:  I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACKWARDS ANYMORE!!!

I looked back...I studied 2016, 2017 up to the end of 2019...what was different? 

I need to dig into that.  2017 was the most radical change in my life.  Emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally.  I need another 2017.  

Here are somethings I am going to attempt to implement...my goal is that I can spark that creativity again...spark that energy that created a new physical person (i felt WAY better in 2017)...I also want to get back to being present more often.  This is not just about my physical body, this is about habits, being joyful, and removing unnecessary stress from my life.  That internal JOY (not giddy happiness but real JOY that only comes from your inner most being - i believe that is the JOY that the Creator gives!)

1.  Morning Routine

2.  Physical body - get active and control my intake

3.  Surround myself with the things that bring me joy.

4.  Create the life I want. 

5.  Remember why I exist - I am a follower of Jesus.  I need to love others better!

Now what?  I have noticed the backward motion.  I am putting things in place to re-engage forward motion.  I now need to act.  ACT - a simple yet very difficult thing to do.  TODAY at least - I am going to do it. 

Actions...they are the only way I have grown in the past...and the only way i see change in the future!

So let the journey continue...

-Kevin

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