Morning Coffee Musings

The following words are unedited...other than spell-check! (i hope). I purposefully do not edit.  I need my thoughts to be fresh and vulnerable.  This is me...I speak from the heart...

today's musings...

Well, i just poured myself a cup of java and am sitting here at my desk.  I found myself looking through some past "musings" from my blog...especially the ones during the beginning of COVID.  Challenging things...things that I don't think I really did very well.  I don't think I took my own advice at all...at least not lately.  I feel as though this last 6 months have "re-taught" me something. Here is what I am pondering, "If you do not maintain your mental health, your focus, your goals, your priorities etc... you will slowly start to go backwards"

This is a fresh awakening for me.  

I am also glad that the work I have put in over the last 7 years have helped me to recognize the fact that I was going backwards.  I feel as though I have put on the brakes a lot earlier in the process of going backwards - so there is not as much uphill climbing to do...does that make sense?

Looking back to my blogs over the years...especially during the "year from hell" in 2014/2015 - the fall was primarily because of the years of "going backwards" that were un-detected.  One bad year is inevitable.  One bad situation happens no matter how solid you are.  But as I unpacked that year, and the years that proceeded it, i can see the massive whole I created.  So, fast forward to this year.  I am seeing a "moving backward" in my life...THIS TIME, i feel like I am seeing it much faster!  Also the damage is minimal as well...catching it in time is crucial.  Because of what I have gone through in my life, 2015 was not the only time...it was just the worst.  I am able to use my past failures to recognize patterns.  I am sensing that patterns are not where they should be and I want to correct that NOW!!

I don't know if this is resonating with you?  I am fortunate that my past, as painful as it was, has allowed me to have "life markers".  I had created enough of a change in my life that my "radar" is in better working order.  Meaning...the slightest course correction is now sending alarms to my body.  I am also quicker to respond...

All of this is code for:  I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACKWARDS ANYMORE!!!

I looked back...I studied 2016, 2017 up to the end of 2019...what was different? 

I need to dig into that.  2017 was the most radical change in my life.  Emotionally, physically, spiritually, relationally.  I need another 2017.  

Here are somethings I am going to attempt to implement...my goal is that I can spark that creativity again...spark that energy that created a new physical person (i felt WAY better in 2017)...I also want to get back to being present more often.  This is not just about my physical body, this is about habits, being joyful, and removing unnecessary stress from my life.  That internal JOY (not giddy happiness but real JOY that only comes from your inner most being - i believe that is the JOY that the Creator gives!)

1.  Morning Routine

2.  Physical body - get active and control my intake

3.  Surround myself with the things that bring me joy.

4.  Create the life I want. 

5.  Remember why I exist - I am a follower of Jesus.  I need to love others better!

Now what?  I have noticed the backward motion.  I am putting things in place to re-engage forward motion.  I now need to act.  ACT - a simple yet very difficult thing to do.  TODAY at least - I am going to do it. 

Actions...they are the only way I have grown in the past...and the only way i see change in the future!

So let the journey continue...

-Kevin

is blogging really a therapeutic exercise?

 Good morning...it may not be morning when you read this but it's morning when I am writing this.  So...I am not crazy! LOL

Is this "writing a blog" for the reader or is it simply a way for me to feel better about myself, or work out some crazy emotional damage?  I often wonder what it is about this process that is supposed to be therapeutic?

I am sitting in my office and I am by myself...and I am literally thinking out loud (on my computer).  I have not pre-planned the content...in fact I never do, i simply start typing and whatever is in my head comes out.

This morning the idea of blogging...is it for me or is it for others...maybe both?  I do know that this process is actually intellectually stimulating.  It causes me to think.  It causes me to articulate and "back-up" my thoughts.  Is what I am thinking a good idea that needs to be fleshed out or is this simply the morning rambling of a under-coffee'd man!?!?!  Valid question!

This was my thinking this morning.  Sitting at my desk and trying to figure out how to be better.  How to be a better man.  How to be a better husband.  How to be a better performer.  How to be a better follower of Jesus.  The thought of blogging then hit me...you see my morning routine, which is often not a solid routine, is important... let me say this another way...

If I want to be a better, all the things I said above...I feel that my morning routine is vital to becoming those things.  So blogging is one of those routine items that I feel is so important...AND YET I DO IT SO SELDOM (should it be seldomly?  I am no grammar person!!)

So, in thinking this through, i put my random thoughts together for me...which then gets read by you and hopefully sparks some thoughts that are beneficial. I hope it works like that.

I will try and continue this at a more consistent pace for me.  I hope that my random thoughts will resonate with you and simply allow you to know that someone else feels the same way... or at least thinks... LOL!

I am still working with this wonderful lady in Nashville and attempting to finish my book.  I know that this blogging journey helps me write - so...if nothing else, it will help my journey.

I would love to know your morning routines...what makes you feel like you are starting off better?

Talk to me...

Monday morning blues?

 Well, does the fact that it is raining bother me more than the fact that it is Monday?  I am not sure.  I have weeks that start on a high...I feel like Monday is the best! THEN there are Monday's that feel heavy.  I don't think it is the start of a week, or the fact that the weekend is over or just a Monday thing...I think it is a mindset.  "A mindset you say...tell me more!"  I am glad you asked...

I tend to me an optimistic person, however as I age and get more introspective I am finding out more and more about myself.  My bad habits, my poor self talk, my procrastination and my running from conflict and the list is longer but I will not bore you with the entire list!!  

When I am in a good headspace, looking after things I need to, my "to-do" list is complete, my morning routine is healthy etc... Monday morning is a welcome event...and when I am putting things off, not looking after my "to-do" list and avoiding conflict...Monday's suck!

So, knowing that alone does not fix it.  Seriously...how can I know that and still allow myself to end up in a bad headspace?  It is a riddle I do not know how to solve.  I am getting much better at it, but I still fall prey to bad habits...SO TODAY - I will not.  TODAY - I will follow through on my "to-do" list and TODAY I will deal with what I need to deal with!  

I am learning that my mornings can often dictate my headspace for the day.  I am working on a morning routine that can actually be duplicated...day in and day out...

so, today was a good morning...Let's hope that continues!

I would love to hear your "life hacks" for Monday morning blues...How do you stay positive?  How do you stay motivated?  What moves you??

Talk to me...

Kevin

Is September the NEW January?

"This is my new single...releasing soon!" 

 I find that mentally, at least for me, that September is more of a "reset" than January. Perhaps it's my programming. School always started in September, people start back to work on a more frequent basis, holidays are "OVER" and we start talking about Fall, Thanksgiving and yes...Christmas! This year I am feeling rather well...like I need a new start. The more i take stock in my mental "situation" the more I realize that COVID did have more of an effect on me than I would like to admit... I got sloppy in some areas of my life. I lost focus. I didn't start out that way...COVID brought some wonderful clarity at the beginning...tuning into that part my psychy that said "I will not fall prey to this virus!". I remained postive and motivated...yada yada yada... However, as we are clearly on the other side of this (some would disagree I know - but for the most part...it is behind us) I am now finding myself in a bit of a funk... I need to get back to a routine, back to a mindset of "go gettem" - you know...that kind of thing! I have such wonderful things happening. My music has opportunities that I did not see coming. New music, new tours, new connections...SO GOOD! I am in the early stages of starting my mortgage business and I am excited about that. However, I feel as though I am still scattered. I am realizing that I have managed to create some very bad habits during COVID. Habits that were easily justified because there was a pandemic. But, I need to hit the reset button. SO...I don't know if you are feeling the same. I am going to use September as my "reset". I am doing some serious soul searching. I need to build some new habits, bring back some old habits that really worked for me and stay FOCUSED!! I need to dig down into the minutiae of my daily routines and find the things that stir creativity, things that allow me to ignite that which I am passionate about...and also remove distractions and things that drain my energy! I don't need to eliminate all things that cause me anxiety - like "book work" - some of those things are necessary to growth and to reaching your goals. However, if I am not focusing on the things that bring me life...I am doing it wrong! That is my goal for September...rebuild my daily routines and build a life that allows me to be the best version of me...so that I can be the best "husband", "Father" and "Papa" and friend... Here is to September!