Quarantine Blues?

Well here we are, in the middle of a quarantine. We are hiding out from a virus that we can't see. It kind of feels like we are running from the imaginary "boogie-man". But unfortunately, even though we can't see it, it appears to be doing it's deadly job clear around the world...people are getting sick, very sick...some...far too many, are dying! WOW - that got real...real quick! The world economy is taking a very big beating! People are losing their jobs, people are afraid, uncertainty is the norm, and we are all sitting back wondering what "normal" will look like...or if there will be a normal.

For me...someone that has made my living from being in front of people, everything has stopped. EVERYTHING. There is discussion that no concerts, or gatherings of any kind...will happen for the remainder of 2020...maybe into 2021...REALLY?? So, my musician friends, my speakers friends, my pastor friends...and those who lecture, those who put on events, those who teach...thats a lot of people...WHAT DOES THIS NEW NORMAL LOOK LIKE??? I have no idea...Restaurants are closing, Cruise Ships may never sail again, Airline Companies are going under...its hard to think of an industry not being decimated during these times...well - except the toilet paper industry (WOW - they hit the jackpot!)

So...in the midst of all this negativity - how do we respond? What do we do? I don't have answers for you, I just want to simply tell you how I am looking at things. I am not the perfect example FOR SURE...But, its helpful for me to walk through this process out loud. If my process can help ignite a passion or a direction in you then wonderful. But, one thing is certain, we cannot come out of this "craziness" the same as we went into it.

As I stare into a completely blank calendar for the remainder of 2020...I have a couple of options. I can rob a bank - that can be a quick fix...potentially severe consequences, so ... maybe I will not go in that direction. I can try and book churches and theatres and sell tickets - oh yeah...not allowed to do that...I can sing for free on-line...live streaming (been doing this) - fun and will keep doing this but that is not an immediate revenue option. QUICK NOTE: Yes, musicians have bills that need to be paid! #funfact OR I can give up music all together! I can take this "pause" as a hint from god...and finally give my family what they need...stability!! JUST STOP SINGING!!

But - what if I did none of the above...What if I took this time to completely re-brand myself. What if I took this time to look in the mirror...ask some tough questions, find out what my ultimate goals are, find out how I can accomplish them and then completely hit "REBOOT". This is scary...This is vulnerable...This is a little dangerous. What if I did this process in the open...What if I allowed people to see how messed up I am. What if I allowed people to see my scars...what if I opened up the life of Kevin Pauls...LIVED out loud and offered that same chance to others...

I have always thought that I was an open book. I don't hide a lot. BUT - what if I took that to another level. What if all my fears, all my inner thoughts became known. Would people still want to know me? Would people ignore me...or even worse, get rid of me?? What if my theology isn't all tied up in a bow like theirs? What if I think differently? What if my thoughts around politics are not like yours or yours or yours? Will that exclude me from your conversations - even worse...would that exclude me from your acceptance??

What if I am not the only one that has felt...that is feeling, that is living with this reality? What if it is time to talk about the TRUE MUSINGS inside of you? What if this "coming out" is not a bad thing...but an open invitation to be seen...and heard...and still LOVED! ***SPOILER ALERT*** I have not lost my faith...I am not seeking to destroy the fabric of our free society...I AM SIMPLY WANTING TO BE HONEST!! That alone can be disturbing. I do have some questions. I do have some fears. I do think differently than a lot of my evangelical friends. I have evolved over the last 15 years...I do not see the world the same as I did. I do not think of my faith the same way as I did. I do not see the church the same way as I did. I do not see the many things the same...AND i think there are a lot of people that feel this very same way.

So - i am in the middle of a REBOOT...What will Kevin Pauls look like in a few months...What things will I be involved with...What stories will I be telling...what songs will I be singing...

PLEASE stay tuned to find out...in fact - we might find out together!!

Kevin Pauls

its been a while...

I am lying here in my bed in VANCOUVER...pondering all things, my career, my family, my friends...being away from home sometimes really feels ugly. I miss my family so much and yet I am doing what I am called to do. (Called: a Christian word totally overused...however I just used it!)

I am reviewing my dreams and my hopes for my career...my music! I am also pondering how they intersect with my family...my friends and my faith...deep thoughts!

I have been "dreaming" of this career thing for so long, it almost feels as though there is nothing left to dream about...it feels so unattainable...it feels as though my dreams were just torture. Go after it, you can do it...or NOT!! I feel as though the last 15 years have been a constant grasping for the infamous dangled carrot, that always feels out of reach!

My dreams are still there and seem to always re-surface, but the light is dimmer all the time!! I am struggling to come to grips with reality...is quitting the reality I need to embrace...or is continuing to battle this my reality?

It's strange, this battle never gets old. I battled this at 16 and I feel I will battle this until I die.

Here is the piece of this puzzle that I truly believe is the KEY TO SUCCESS...seriously, keep reading...

As I look back...a ton of my BIG dreams have become a reality!!!

1. I sang on tour with the Gaither's
2. I sang with my vocal hero's...Michael English, Steve Archer, Russ Taff
3. I toured with Avalon
4. I am on 2 Platinum video's (one that debuted #1 on Billboard)
5. I have been full-time in music for 10 years
6. I have toured Canada, from coast to coast MANY times!!
7. I am able to pour into the lives of other artist's with my LIVE MUSIC PRODUCING
8. I have recorded 6 CD's

You see...when I look back there are many things I can see that I have accomplished...the only problem is...the dream keeps getting bigger!!! There are new dreams that I need to fight to grasp! There are new goals I need to reach...

The problem is, the striving for new goals needs to be balanced by the looking back and having gratitude!

I have the most amazing wife, 3 wonderful kids, I am doing what I believe I was made to do...and I am surrounded with incredible friends and peers that make my life rich!!!

So...have I stopped striving...NOT A CHANCE!! But with a good dose of seeing where I have come from...taking stock in where I have been and what I have done...I can continue to strive for bigger and better...

One last thing...I have to tell you that this journey without a relationship with the Almighty God is fruitless. Nothing without him is worthwhile!! HE is the reason I get up everyday and HOPE!! HE is the reason I sing...HE is the reason I love!!

Jesus Christ gives me the courage to HOPE, and DREAM when it feels like I can't go on!!

Make HIM a part of your world...your life, your dreams...HE, afterall, is the dream-maker!!

Blessings,

KP