Quarantine Blues?

Well here we are, in the middle of a quarantine. We are hiding out from a virus that we can't see. It kind of feels like we are running from the imaginary "boogie-man". But unfortunately, even though we can't see it, it appears to be doing it's deadly job clear around the world...people are getting sick, very sick...some...far too many, are dying! WOW - that got real...real quick! The world economy is taking a very big beating! People are losing their jobs, people are afraid, uncertainty is the norm, and we are all sitting back wondering what "normal" will look like...or if there will be a normal.

For me...someone that has made my living from being in front of people, everything has stopped. EVERYTHING. There is discussion that no concerts, or gatherings of any kind...will happen for the remainder of 2020...maybe into 2021...REALLY?? So, my musician friends, my speakers friends, my pastor friends...and those who lecture, those who put on events, those who teach...thats a lot of people...WHAT DOES THIS NEW NORMAL LOOK LIKE??? I have no idea...Restaurants are closing, Cruise Ships may never sail again, Airline Companies are going under...its hard to think of an industry not being decimated during these times...well - except the toilet paper industry (WOW - they hit the jackpot!)

So...in the midst of all this negativity - how do we respond? What do we do? I don't have answers for you, I just want to simply tell you how I am looking at things. I am not the perfect example FOR SURE...But, its helpful for me to walk through this process out loud. If my process can help ignite a passion or a direction in you then wonderful. But, one thing is certain, we cannot come out of this "craziness" the same as we went into it.

As I stare into a completely blank calendar for the remainder of 2020...I have a couple of options. I can rob a bank - that can be a quick fix...potentially severe consequences, so ... maybe I will not go in that direction. I can try and book churches and theatres and sell tickets - oh yeah...not allowed to do that...I can sing for free on-line...live streaming (been doing this) - fun and will keep doing this but that is not an immediate revenue option. QUICK NOTE: Yes, musicians have bills that need to be paid! #funfact OR I can give up music all together! I can take this "pause" as a hint from god...and finally give my family what they need...stability!! JUST STOP SINGING!!

But - what if I did none of the above...What if I took this time to completely re-brand myself. What if I took this time to look in the mirror...ask some tough questions, find out what my ultimate goals are, find out how I can accomplish them and then completely hit "REBOOT". This is scary...This is vulnerable...This is a little dangerous. What if I did this process in the open...What if I allowed people to see how messed up I am. What if I allowed people to see my scars...what if I opened up the life of Kevin Pauls...LIVED out loud and offered that same chance to others...

I have always thought that I was an open book. I don't hide a lot. BUT - what if I took that to another level. What if all my fears, all my inner thoughts became known. Would people still want to know me? Would people ignore me...or even worse, get rid of me?? What if my theology isn't all tied up in a bow like theirs? What if I think differently? What if my thoughts around politics are not like yours or yours or yours? Will that exclude me from your conversations - even worse...would that exclude me from your acceptance??

What if I am not the only one that has felt...that is feeling, that is living with this reality? What if it is time to talk about the TRUE MUSINGS inside of you? What if this "coming out" is not a bad thing...but an open invitation to be seen...and heard...and still LOVED! ***SPOILER ALERT*** I have not lost my faith...I am not seeking to destroy the fabric of our free society...I AM SIMPLY WANTING TO BE HONEST!! That alone can be disturbing. I do have some questions. I do have some fears. I do think differently than a lot of my evangelical friends. I have evolved over the last 15 years...I do not see the world the same as I did. I do not think of my faith the same way as I did. I do not see the church the same way as I did. I do not see the many things the same...AND i think there are a lot of people that feel this very same way.

So - i am in the middle of a REBOOT...What will Kevin Pauls look like in a few months...What things will I be involved with...What stories will I be telling...what songs will I be singing...

PLEASE stay tuned to find out...in fact - we might find out together!!

Kevin Pauls

be transformed by the renewing of your mind?

WOW - have you ever thought about that statement. Romans is full of those types of statements. (Romans is a book in the New Testament of the Holy Bible...just in case!!)

Be transformed - what does this really mean? Say a prayer of "salvation" and zap!! ALL IS GOOD!! after all we are saved by Grace are we not?? (that is a completely separate topic - look at the book of James! - another book in the NT!!)

What does it mean to be transformed...by the renewing of the mind? I was thinking about this today, and thinking about my situation and my life and wondering what this really means.

I see how incredibly important thoughts are. The Bible talks about holding your thoughts captive. Taking stock in your thought-life. What are you thinking about? Do you live in fear...are you paranoid? Do you think that God is on your side? Do you fear that bad things will happen? Are you in a constant state of battling negativity? What holds your thoughts?

If we ask ourselves the tough questions about our thought-life I think we start to understand why God says that we need to be transformed by the renewing of our mind!! Maybe I am the only one that struggles with my thought-life! Maybe I am the only one that thinks very bad things about people that cut me off on the 401. Maybe I am the only one that thinks inappropriate thoughts, maybe i am the only one that has temptations to not claim all my income...maybe I am the only one that says...no one will see me? Maybe I am the only one that says...I can ask for forgiveness!! Maybe I am the only one that thinks is it OK to think those bad thoughts about someone and linger there and draw it out and even think about how I could get revenge!! Yeah REVENGE!! There's a positive thought!! I travel a lot by myself...there is a thought battle!

I am far too human, and I know the struggle that goes on in the mind...so i totally relate to the book of Romans when it says be transformed by the renewing of the mind!!!!

Now before you beat yourself up...There was a reason I wanted to talk about this today. I had a thought that I believe came from the Lord...

Here it is: As far as the battle for the mind is concerned, I have been trying so hard to empty myself of SELF. Trying to rid myself of pride, selfish thoughts, selfish motivations...SELF! The more I battled and removed those things from my life, I have a very frustrating problem!! IT COMES BACK!!!! Here is an example of what it feels like. I am in the middle of a field with a bucket of water and it is pouring rain!! I keep emptying the bucket of water and then i keep coming back to it five minutes later and it is full again...I empty the bucket and it fills up again...i have never taken the bucket out of the rain...I can empty it, but unless I take the bucket OUT of the rain and fill it with something else...the water will always come back to the bucket...

SO - to completely transform my life...and renew my mind, I must stop focusing on the emptying process and start focusing on the FILLING PROCESS!!! FILL my life with God's word, fill my life and my day with prayer and conversation with God. Keep my mind "stayed" on THEE! Pray without ceasing...keep the communication lines open with God...Study the WORD...

Pretty soon, the bucket will be so full of other "stuff" that water will no longer be able to gather and will run away from the bucket!! Pretty soon, you will not have to try to empty the bucket from your SELF, but you will need a bigger bucket to contain all the goodness the LORD wants to supply for us...

I have known this for years...TODAY I feel that God has truly shown me this to be true in my own life! Thank you God for being so patient with me...

Talk to you soon,

Kevin