numb?

Do you ever feel that way? NUMB? There is a lot of emotion below the surface but it's like you cant really connect to it for some reason. Right now...I feel numb. There are so many emotions. COVID-19 & social injustice have been the catalyst for uncertainty, anxiousness, frustration, ANGER, fear, hatred...do I need to go on? Humanity is being thrown a curve ball...we are all vulnerable to very strong emotional responses - when you are losing hope. Right now...it feels like we are losing our hope.

Hope tells you that everything will be ok. Hope gives you a spring in your step. Hope shows you the way things will be in the future, not the way they are now...BUT if you lose that hope...things can look dark. You can respond in ways you did not think you were capable of. Often times...in desperate situations, our true emotions rise to the surface unfiltered.

I think the world is responding to so many things...unfiltered!

My perspective is this...maybe...just maybe we might learn something if we dig deep...if we take the time to actually listen. Take time to understand, before trying to be understood. I love the old saying, "God gave you 2 ears and 1 mouth, so listen before you speak!"

I am wanting my current state of numbness...to allow me to ask some important questions. I want to, and I need to listen. People are acting out right now...but that's not an "over-reaction" to one incident. It's the bubbling over of hundreds/thousands of incidents the world has not learned from.

I don't even know how to feel at this moment. There are so many "feels" that nothing is coming out. As I said before...it's there, but it feels like I cannot locate them.

This virus is driving people crazy...This virus is dividing us, its causing uncertainty, it causing loss, people are isolated, people are desperate for something...some change that will give them hope...SOMETHING NEW. So when social injustice hits - it feels even more desperate.

What if...because there is nothing else to talk about...because we are so fixated on the social injustice...what if WE ACTUALLY LISTENED...and WHAT IF this actually started a revolution of change...is it possible that we have stopped our normal lives just long enough to see this injustice for what it is. Not just a bad cop(s), not just a "awful incident" but a systemic problem that permeates our society!

I know you may feel numb. I know you may feel overwhelmed. I even understand that you may feel that people are responding unfiltered and you don't know what to do. I get it...So, right now...if you listen...and then listen, and when you are done listening...listen some more - we might find a way to not let history repeat itself. We MUST come out of this better...we have a chance to change history. COVID can be remembered as the catalyst for change...Wouldn't that be an interesting take on this devastating time...Disaster causes social change!! MAYBE there is hope in that?

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